Positivity Challenge Day 4: Finding My Flashlights

Yesterday brought some bad news and good news. The bad news is that hubby did not get a job he had applied for that we’d spent about 6 weeks waiting on. The good news is that now we can go ahead with planning our regularly scheduled lives again, and not wondering “what if” he gets that position. Which got me thinking about all the things we haven’t yet done this summer, and it’s already more than halfway over…

Day 4:

Something I'm Thankful For:  Escapist TV. When I first heard about hubby’s contract not being renewed, Game of Thrones was weekly my savior. Now, it’s Bachelor In Paradise. Heck, anything #BachelorNation related. I’ve realized that watching others’ dramas is something that allows my brain to completely shut off, and maybe even make me feel good about the smarter decisions I’ve made in my life (such as not appearing on a reality TV show). For the last few weeks, a girlfriend has been coming over on a weekly basis to make every episode a total party, and it’s been so wonderful having her around for fun, support, and in-person empathy. (Thanks, Kelsey!) It’s really fantastic having a regularly scheduled gals’ night in, and it’s helped fill the horrible void right now I have missing all my close girlfriends in NY, whom I did not get to see this summer.

Challenge O' The Day: Figuring out something fun for the summer. We scrapped our original summer plans to visit our families on the East Coast in search of jobs, and not only is there still no job, but no big summer fun has been had. The only getaway we had was a 2-night stint in San Diego for Comic-Con, which believe me, was no picnic with a 3-year-old and 1-year-old in tow. I realized yesterday that the outlook right now for the rest of the summer is on par with:

…The final shots of LOST:

…The final shots of Season 5, Game of Thrones finale:

…The final shots of The Sopranos:

I also realized that unless I start planning some fun things to look forward to, I was going to be lost to all sorts of depressing blackness while hiding under my bedroom covers. I've been so stressed and focus on finding an immediate solution, I've been depriving myself of planning any fun. I now have to figure out how we can have fun without breaking the bank, but I do need something that will give us/me a much-needed boost right now. Growing up, I always LIVED for the summers, and the big family vacation at the end of it. My parents purposely planned that so we’d look forward to something even as the summer was about to be over. I look forward to the day that we can plan an annual elaborate escape, but for now a minor escape would be nice, even if it’s just for the day. My son is off from school for a couple of weeks, and I’m determined to figure out some fun activities to do during that time.

Lesson Learned: If the road ahead looks really, really dark, figure out what kind of flashlight you can use to help guide your path until the lights come back on.

Daily Insight: I’m really glad to be doing this blog. It’s giving me a game plan on how to tackle the days, even if I’m not entirely successful. Yesterday brought some more heavy, unexpected disappointing news, but it made me feel better to know that I had an outlet to express it all at the end of the day. And some of my friends have really been coming out of the wood works to text, call, or message me, and I truly appreciate it. Plus, I stuck to my schedule about checking my social media/e-mails only periodically (I set my phone alarms for 8:55 AM, 12 PM, 3 PM, and 9 PM) and modified it to the nearest scheduled break. Even with the continuous parade of yucky news, I at least feel better that I took charge of something, and removed something that was definitely bringing me down. Baby steps. <3